Yoshi (008)

As I lie here trying to come up with something to write about, I can’t stop thinking about my first dog. He died three years ago today. So I guess I’ll write about him. He would keep me company when I had migraines like the one that I have right now; he was the best healer. 

Yoshi was a purchase from a breeder because I didn’t know better at the time. But I wouldn’t change anything about that now. My ex-husband and I got him together after dating for about a year. I was scared to hold him when we went to pick him up because he was 1.2 pounds and I had never held anything so small. I made Jason hold him while I squealed with nervous excitement. I brought him a pink collar and a pink carrier for the car because I love pink and fuck gender norms. I’m sure the breeder was judging me pretty harshly. We’d padded the pink carrier with blankets and intended for him to ride in that for the 3 1/2 hour car ride home, but about 20 minutes into the ride he peed on the blankets and wouldn’t stop crying, and my heart hurt listening to him. Once we stopped and got cleaned up, he rode on my lap the rest of the way. 

For the next eight years, Yoshi was my buddy. He went everywhere with me. He didn’t really like other dogs but he would tolerate some of them. His best friend was a Great Dane Labrador mix named Shelby; they were quite the pair. He was very relaxed and he loved boat rides and would even chase minnows from the shore. He would chill between my legs in the kayak and be anyone’s best friend if they had food. He definitely got more human food than he should have. He was a bit overweight, and that’s what shortened his life. 

Yoshi lived to be just shy of 12 years old, but he was only in my life consistently for 8. Jason and I divorced, and I decided that it was best for Yoshi to stay in the home that he was used to because he was a crotchety little old man. I would get visitation every once in a while and bring him to my one bedroom apartment where I would love on him and spoil him for the weekend. 

I knew he wasn’t in good health because Jason was good about keeping me up to date. Yoshi’s heart was enlarged and he started having breathing troubles. On the same day that I had to have an emergency kidney stone removal surgery, Jason scheduled Yoshi to be put to sleep the next day. There wasn’t much of a choice because he could only breathe standing up. It must’ve been like torture for his little body. As soon as I was released from the hospital, I rushed to Jason‘s house, but it had already been done. We sat in his front room and hugged and held Yoshi’s little body, now lifeless. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but the dog who would rescue my heart had been born exactly one week earlier at a puppy mill in Texas. When Mike and I met Jorah 3 months later at the rescue in Michigan, I noticed angel wings on his back. He still has them.